“Why are the chicken breasts so small?”

“And believe me, a good piece of chicken can make anybody believe in the existence of God.”  ― Sherman Alexie.

Is it politically correct and socially acceptable to demand that your local supermarket sell only large breasted chicken at their barbecue chicken counter??

Tuesday is my usual night to have barbecue chicken and on that night last week I happened to stumble upon a husband and wife team literally grilling the ladies in the delicatessen section of my Safeway supermarket.

The wife was firing a barrage of questions at the women who were preparing the chickens for the grilling treatment.

Apparently the man’s wife was getting sick and tired of serving chicken with underdeveloped breasts. She preferred the white meat while he enjoyed the dark.

The husband asked his wife, “you think they should give the chicken a shot of Botox to enhance their figures?”

She got annoyed by his flippancy and again verbally tore into the women behind the counter.

She was piqued by the cavalier manner in which the manager of the department treated her.

She then asked her husband to do something and not just stand there.

“Maybe I should go over to the BBQ chicken display and physically inspect all the breasts there?”

He added, “If I did that the store would have me arrested for being a deviant”.

Finally the woman called the store staff idiots for selling chicken that was not up to standards.

As for myself I am a leg , thigh and wing man.

I purchased my chicken and a small order of coleslaw and potato salad and was grateful for the fact that I was not insistent that my chickens have large breasts. 

Foul language was not in the cards for me that day. – gc





    • Thank you for your comment. I have been buying the barbecue chicken for the past while and have noticed a few anomalies: when the breasts are small the drumsticks and wings are. Conversely, when the breasts re ample the wings and drumsticks are petite. Part of the ebb and flow of the old henhouse I reckon. 🙂


    • Seasoned Greetings J.B.!!

      You rascal. I like your style and I think a few of the roasted chickens that have met the cello wrap fate were “working ” whores bemoaning the fact that even their best efforts led them to the cello bag retreat.

      I noticed that when the chickens had smaller breasts their leg and thigh muscles were well developed. These must have been “free range” chickens whoring and cajoling their way about the barnyard.

      On the other hand the chickens with the larger breasts must have been groped and prodded and stalked by overly ambitious roosters looking to score before the female population began to dwindle in the yard.

      Their motto must have been, “give me liberty but not Botox!”.

      Of course now I am concerned that the chickens with the larger legs and thighs might have been given “the” firming injection in their butts.

      Orwell was right. In his “Animal Farm” only the strong willed and large breasted chickens will thrive and survive.

      I still enjoy well developed chicken thighs. 🙂

      I am not too concerned about their moral fiber as long as they taste good with coleslaw and potato salad.


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